THE F.A.Q.s
and other details
Here are
cute pictures
WELCOME
Some disgustingly
to our wedding website! We can't wait to see you. And, as in most weddings, we're sure you've got some important questions, such as, "Does the hair of the dog really work for reception hangovers" and "Do you know anyone who can loan me a leather corset for the ceremony?"
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Below, you'll find answers to some of the questions we've encountered (and some that we've made up). If you have additional questions/needs/concerns, please feel free to email us and we'll do our best to help.
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Want to keep the octopus happy?
Why don't you R.S.V.P.?
WHERE?
CEREMONY
The Morcom Amphitheater of Roses
700 Jean St
Oakland, California
4 o'clock in the afternoon
RECEPTION
Vessel Arts Gallery
471 25th Street
Oakland, California
Six o' Clock in the evening
Wait, where is the
Morcom Rose Garden?
(And why does it sound like an evil genetics company?)
this is the morcom rose garden in the middle of summer.
no idea if it will look like this in october.
The Morcom Rose Garden was previously known as the Piedmont Rose Garden, and still is, if you live in Piedmont and are stubborn about these things. (We'd never heard anyone call it that until we went to reserve it.) As the internet may have indicated, it has several entrances. We have noted the main entrance here. Should atmospheric interference route you through a different entrance, don’t panic! The garden is not gigantic. You will find us. Walk to the reflecting pool, turn West/Northwest, and walk up the stairs to the Upper Terrace. We'll have people stationed to help you find your way, as well.
Parking for this venue is street, and it’s often cramped. We suggest carpooling where possible, or parking out on Grand Ave. and hoofing it into the garden.
Finally: There are stairs, and some gravel, enough so that you'll want to know before picking your footwear. You can, of course, still wear the Priscilla, Queen of the Desert platforms. (That's YOU, Jocelyn.) We’re very much in favor of that.
And the gallery?
The Vessel Gallery is located at 471 25th St, Oakland, CA, 94612, directly between Telegraph Ave and Broadway, approximately 2 miles from the rose garden.
There is a parking garage two blocks South on Broadway, plus ample street parking on both Broadway and Telegraph. Parking on 25th is also available in limited quantities.
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GALLERY POLICIES to note: There is no smoking anywhere in or around the building, including the open patio upstairs, for what we assume are obvious reasons.
ALSO: Feel free to take all the pictures you want, but please do your best to not photograph the art directly. Please do your best to help Vessel protect their Artists' Copyrights! (And us our security deposit.)
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Here it is, looking nice and dramatic
But the sign says "12:30 to 3:30"
and it's 3:28!
We suggest you abide by a strict rule of not leaving anything interesting visible in your car. Don't leave uninteresting things, either.
Is this stretch of unoccupied street parking too good
to be true?
Anything else about
Driving and Parking?
Yes, it is. Read the street sweeping signs very, very carefully. Then read them again. Then park somewhere else. You have already shelled out for travel expenses, outfits, food and - if you are a Dodgers fan - possibly a misdemeanor assault charge. Don’t give the
City of Oakland any more money than you have to.
"We
jolly well
warned you,
Old Sport!"
Yes, we know. You can pay your parking violation right here at:
a dress code?
So! Do you have
Of course we do.
"That thing you've always
wanted to wear!"
The grumpy-looking octopus appears
to be getting closer...
Could you elaborate?
YOU know. That Thing. The crazy thing with the pattern. The lime green thing. The velvet smoking jacket thing. The hat thing. Those shoe things. The slinky red thing. The heavily altered thing. The thing your mother wouldn't be caught dead in. The intergalactic thing. The pink-purple-not-sure-what-they-were-going-for-here thing. The faux-fur thing you "borrowed" from your burner friend's closet. The Sailor Moon costume thing you won’t admit you bought at Hot Topic in 1998. That thing that somehow survived every time you cleaned out your closet, even though you've never worn it. The Zebra print thing. The zoot suit thing. The elegant gown and sneakers thing. The headdress thing that looks like it wandered in from someone’s bo-ho version of the Ring Cycle. That thing that makes heads turn. Someone’s prom dress thing from 1983. Or 1883. Why not? Wear it, with impunity. Some people will be playing it relatively straight with suits and ties, and that's OK too. Others feel free to gas it up to their hearts' content.
Our only stipulation is that you feel fabulous. Oh, and Molly has dibs on the wedding dress. Other than that, go nuts. We can't wait to see what you come up with!
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...Wait. What?
Still feeling at sea? Never fear!
Below, you'll find an inspiration
gallery of posh British women wearing outrageous hats!
"Though she took his passing quite hard, josephine was pleasently astonished at the number of hats that could be made from Norburt's tentacles."
GALLERY
To the
Willkommen!
"What the hell is she wearing?!"
(Because nothing says "A Day at the Races" so well as a large hat with which to startle nervous herd animals)
?!
"Surrounded by oddities,
Westley experienced a rush
of bemused anxiety"
"Blimy,
Brownlow!
You must
have a look!"
important disclaimer:
the gride and broom would
like to state plainly that they do not own any of these hats.
(yet.)
"Steady on, Reg,
how frightfully
daring!"
"#$%!"
"Winston, likewise,
was somewhat
Distressed"
"Egads!
What a
hideous sight!"
"Preposterous!
"What
would
HER
MAJESTY
say?!"
IN THE
GRAND
TRADITION
of the
Secretly
here's what
modern Britain
wears to the Royal Ascot!
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Cheeky,
"Not all
that
secret,
wot!"
Excellent question, Brownlow. Clearly, the answer is...
"OWN IT,
YOU SILLY TWITS!"
Should we bring the (little) kids?
does your five year old enjoy slurping raw oysters and drinking martinis at adult parties? Then congratulations! You obviously got more out of bringing up bebe' than we did.
yikes.
(Incidentally, did you know "Baby Dior" was a thing?)
That is up to you! They will be welcome, of course. However, the ceremony and reception have been oriented mostly with adults (or people pretending to be adults) in mind. We suggest checking out our venue websites to see if they fit your definition of Child Friendly.
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In podering this, here's some information you might find useful:
Time of day​: Afternoon | Evening
Food: Seasoned and rich
Raw Seafood: Most likely
Gluten: Excessive
Alcohol: In abundance
Band: Very loud
Potentially startling, arbitrary noises: Probably
Gallery Art with vaguely Erotic themes: Entirely possible
Just what kind of
wedding
is
this??
Since you ask, a (mostly) Jewish one!
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at some point...
T
he
H
orah
Will
be
Danced
Which means that...
TO
make this easy, we scoured the internet for the least offensive "how To" video we
could find. link below.
you can study up or wing it as you prefer.
"Does this mean
we're Kosher,
Clementine?"
"You'd better hope not."
Well then!
That about sums it up for the moment. (Oh, and all questions related to travel and lodging can be found on the "Getting There" page.) If we've missed anything, feel free email us additional questions at mwwedding2016@gmail.com.
Travel safe, and we can't wait to see y'all at the wedding!
He's right on top of you! Quick, click
to escape!